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You are here: Home > Reviews > Movies > Taintlight

Taintlight: Horror Movie Reviews

Taintlight
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Title: Taintlight (2009)
Format: DVD
Score:
Starring: Meredith Host, Kurt Indovina, Billy Garberina, A.J. Stabone, and Jessica Stephens
Director: Chris Seaver
Rating: Unrated
Runtime: 65
Hits: 438
Favorite: LOGIN TO FAVE

Review of Taintlight

Riding the lofty coattails of the international tween sensation, TAINTLIGHT is the tale of Stella, a young girl who falls in love with an ancient, beautifully-behaired bloodsucker named Edgar. They struggle to stay together in the midst of vampire carnage, but a love triangle bubbles up when a Michael Jackson-loving werewolf named Jack comes forward professing his own love for Stella. Meanwhile, a rival group of "real" vampires led by the evil Razor McBleed are on the prowl, looking to put the stake to Edgar so they can feast on Stella and the rest of Bonejack Heights in this over the top horror parody with tongue firmly in cheek!

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Comments for Taintlight

  • Posted on 2010-01-01
    college student review

    my dad got this for my sister not realizing it wasn't the actual twilight movie. i noticed that the cover wasn't quite right and thought it was a porn spin off so i immediately hid it so my sister wouldnt find it. then i had my friends over and we all watched it and it turned out to be a low budget "meet the spartans" type of movie so we were a little disappointed because those movies aren't that funny. then we continued watching and loved the movie. we plan on getting the rest of their movies. it's a good for high school/ college viewers. i can't wait to watch the rest of their films
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  • Posted on 2009-11-28
    Don't Waste Your Time or Money

    We watched the first ten minutes of this before we shut it off. It's essentially the quality of something a bunch of high schoolers would make: badly written, horribly shot (on an old camcorder, it looks like), with cheesy costumes, props, and fake mustaches. How this ended up on Amazon, let alone priced at $18, is beyond me. This is something that should be up on Youtube, not for sale on Amazon.

    Avoid this like the plague.

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  • Posted on 2009-11-28
    What a joke.....

    Be warned!!! These other two reviews are 100% wrong, and must be involved somehow with the marketing of this dud. This movie is lacking terribly in all area. Like being hilarious??? NOT!!! Being well acted??? NOT!!! Being lame and, oh so boring??? YES!!! If you wish to see this movie, and can make it all the way through, you should deserve some kind of reward. If you're a fan of the twilight series, stick to the real thing.
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  • Posted on 2009-11-11
    Freaking Hilarious

    I absolutly LOVED this movie. I laughed all the way through. I hope to God they make another one.
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  • Posted on 2009-10-11
    Better than the 'real' movie!

    I have to start by saying that I consider the LBP crew good friends and I'm totally biased but as Seaver himself knows I'm not one to say I like something if I don't. That said I REALLY enjoyed Taintlight.

    Meredith Host and Kurt Indovina both parodied their Twilight counterparts perfectly with just enough LBP outlandishness to make me giggle.
    The rest of the cast were also spot on with their characters and backed up the leads wonderfully.
    Serious fans of Twilight will NOT like this movie. But if you have a sense of humor, especially if you love bodily function humour, and an are looking for a fun, well-acted and enjoyable movie you will love Taintlight.
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