"Kraa" is a ridiculous man-in-a-rubber-outfit movie that is oriented toward a young demographic, and has enough camp hilarity to earn it three stars easily. The short version is this: Lord Doom is stuck on the cold, dark planet of Proyas, but he covets a warm climate. He dispatches "Kraa: planet wrecker for hire" to Earth to destroy the civilizations there. Kraa lands in the ocean, but thankfully the Planet Patrol is watching from Planet Patrol Station 1645, conveniently located 14 light-years from Earth. The officers of the Planet Patrol appear to be about 14, and the newest member of the crew was sent into space because of her psychic abilities. Unfortunately Lord Doom disables their station, which leads to no end of squawking about different ridiculous problems they are encountering. It’s not enough that the station’s core is going critical, it’s going "hyper-critical". That must be extra bad!
Kraa emerges from the Atlantic ocean and immediately begins his world domination by destroying a service station in New Jersey. If any of you have seen the Rick Sloane masterpiece "Hobgoblins", it turns out that Kraa looks like an enormous amphibious hobgoblin. That appearance combined with some of the cheesiest miniatures and sets in recent film history make for high camp value and many laughs. Fortunately for Earth the Planet Patrol sends its only available agent, Mogyar, to destroy Kraa. Mogyar, who resembles a cross between a moldy pimento cheese sandwich and a box turtle, speaks with an Italian accent, and quickly befriends a waitress and a biker, who happens to be a genius.
Pompous government thugs (in comical red and black uniforms) capture Mogyar and his friends and thwart their plans for saving the Earth. Thankfully, the captives are smarter than the captors and appropriate a nuclear power plant, which, when combined in a unique manner involving psychic mind-melding and astral projection, saves the Earth. You will learn many interesting details in the film. For instance, I didn’t know it was possible to simply unplug a nuclear power plant. After some fisticuffs with Lord Doom and his midget sidekick the film comes to an end much like it began: with really long credits.
This is a totally absurd film, and is about as horrifying as an ABC After School Special, only without the high budget or fancy production values. Sure it’s cheap and mindless, but it’s also a newer piece of camp that even gets in a cheap shot at Godzilla. Watch it for a laugh; if you don’t you will assuredly miss one hundred percent of its appeal.
About Kraa! the Sea Monster (1998)
Starring: Leon W. Grant, Alison Lohman, John Paul Fedele, J.W. Perra, Robert J. Ferrelli, Jeff Rector, Candida Tolentino, Anthony Furlong, Michael Guerin, Jerry Lentz, Jon Simanton, R.L. McMurry, Teal Marchande, Robert Garcia, Jeffery Meyer, David Wall, Deborah Hatch, Stephen Martines
Director: Aaron Osborne, Dave Parker
MPAA Rating: PG
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