Horror Movie Reviews
Yeti: Horror Movie Reviews
Title: Yeti (2009)
Format: DVD
Score:
Starring: Peter DeLuise, Carly Pope, Crystal Lowe, Marc Menard, and Adam O'Byrne
Director: Paul Ziller
Rating: Unrated
Runtime: 87 minutes
Hits: 201
Favorite:
Review of Yeti
A college football team must find a way to survive after their plane crashes on a remote mountain during a blizzard. What starts as a battle against the elements becomes a desperate struggle to escape when they discover an ancient creature with a ravenous appetite for fresh meat. Will they survive the sub-zero temperatures, only to be eaten by the snow beast that hunts them down?
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Comments for Yeti
- Posted on 2009-08-01
potential denied...
Another Yeti/Bigfoot film that suffers from stupid script, obvious illogical Production interference or director delusion!
it was all good to begin with and the Yeti creature suit looks cool - but the CGI animation and the jumping 40 metres like Ang Lee's HUlk is preposterous and sends an instant message to us Yeti addicts that these business suit, pen pushing, clerk-type people ( much like Mummy 3 CGI Yeti's handling!! ...wot the?) are in it for the simple bucks and have no interest in the material what so ever... just treating it like a CG game film fodder, with a outlet straight to the dvd rubbish heap.
i find it hard to recommend this film to anyone... it plainly suffers from stupidity...and CG moments of staggering dumbness..
at least Abominable (bigfoot film) handled its subject with a bit of realism - except for stretchy jaw stuff!
i just wish these lowbrow-pulp film makers would go back to TVC or corporate doco land and let someone with talent and respect for the Yeti do us a descent Yeti film... even the Peter Cushing old classic is a preferable watch than this waste of opportunity.
- Posted on 2009-06-25
Rented this and laughed myself silly.
This movie is really bad. A group of football players crash in the mountains and get attacked by a Yeti. This film features some of the worst CG effects I've ever seen and includes a great scene where the Yeti rips off a guys leg and then beats him with it. LOL funny. My recommendation: rental only. If you get lucky you can catch it on Sci-Fi.
- Posted on 2009-06-09
So bad it's not even good bad. It's past good and back to bad.
I love LOVE bad Bigfoot movies. Even the really bad ones like "Sasquatch" are at least a fun way to kill some time while you drink enough of your favorite distillate to get happy. But this movie is on a whole different level. A low level. A really really low level. One that isn't fun.
For starters, the scene portrayed on the cover isn't even remotely related to anything in the movie. The Yeti is played by a guy in a horrible white suit that looks like the fx team had about $4.50 and 20 minutes of time to pull together. It's about 5'6", but claimed to be over 9 feet tall?! In other scenes, it looks like the fx crew ripped off scenes from a bad video game. The cgi most closely resembles a really rough rough cut of a proposed Donkey Kong/Resident Evil crossover. I was too stunned to laugh or cry.
The actors are equally bad. Supposed to be a football team from "State College", these small, whiny losers look like they're more at home at that place where only D-movie actor-wannabes hang out. Thankfully, I have no idea where that place is. It's not even fun trying to figure out who dies next. I kept hoping they'd all die at once and that the cgi Yet-zombie thing would dance around for the remainder of the movie like the Ogga-Chakka baby. No dice.
Do yourself a favor and spend your money on something less painful like letting that bratty kid down the block smack you in the kneecap with a sledge hammer for a half hour or so. You'll thank me in the end.
- Posted on 2009-04-09
Football In The Himalayas, Or, The Yeti Is Out Of Bounds
"Yeti" (also known as "Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon") is a horrible but hilarious Sasquatch flick from The Sci-Fi channel with every stereotype and cliche in the book, plus a few new ones. The film features terrible CGI, a ludicrous script, and horrid acting for starters. In a nutshell, a college football team (and assorted random females) from "State College" are flying from the US to Japan when they crash in Nepal and are chased by a Yeti. Therein my first problem is revealed: what airline goes from the continental United States to Japan via Nepal? Just a tad out of the way, you say? Well, that is probably the most believable element of the film.
While over the Himalayas, the plane (the filmmakers can't decide if it's a 737, 747, or business jet, but I won't nitpick) encounters a storm and crashes. Suffice it to say that the CGI 747, storm, and plane crash are unbelievably unrealistic for a film made in 2008. Even worse, the whiny cast is so annoying that you may, like me, be hoping the Himalayan Yetis defeat The State College Grizzlies in the Bigfoot Bowl. Not only can't the cast act, but they really don't have much to work with: the script is the only thing worse than the CGI.
After the crash, the cast looks around for food in everyone's backpacks and pockets, but it never even dawns on them to look in the galley before the cannibalism subplot emerges. (A football team stuck in the mountains resorting to cannibalism? Now there's an original idea....) After the coach says something motivating to the handsome quarterback and promptly dies, the cast turns on each other despite the obvious menace that keeps raiding the camp for bodies. The Yeti is very angry, and not only runs, but hops and jumps (you have to see this CGI to believe it) in a menacing way, all the while looking like a cross between Chewbacca with mange, the Cowardly Lion with head lice, and Robert Z'Dar after being in an autoclave. (These filmmakers only wish they had someone of Z'Dar's talent.)
The cast goes hunting for rabbit with a piece of luggage and a stick, but it's the pretty girl who saves the day and brings home the hasenpfeffer in another wholly credible scene. While the main cast is dabbling in cannibalism and honing their survival skills, there are two parallel plots about a brave second-string player in search of the plane's radio who evades the lightning-fast Yeti for five days with two broken legs (!), and a couple of people from the Yeti patrol (or some such nonsense) who are hiking across the mountains to rescue the crash survivors. Their hike through the Himalayas looks more like an outing at Park City, Utah with glorious sunshine and a shallow base of powdery snow. The three disparate elements finally unify, although in the process they validate the old Himalayan adage "Never let the blowhard jock have the flare gun."
As the cast converges, they are presented with a quandary: the Yeti has kidnapped the quarterback's girlfriend. Should they look for her or not? Of course they do, and they find her in a cave asleep and spooning with the Yeti. Their plan to rescue her defies belief, and involves digging a deep trench outside the cave in sheer rock, in absolute silence, placing spears in the bottom for the Yeti to fall on, subsequently causing an avalanche to bury the Yeti, but not them. Stunningly, this seems to work, although be prepared for multiple tedious false endings. In the end the football star uses his gridiron skills and tackles the Yeti into submission, taking him out of bounds and off a cliff with an assist from the rabbit slayer. Oh, and the two principals fall in love. Obviously.
This movie is one of the most predictable of all films, and would have been an excellent episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000." It does have good camp value, and is well worth laughing at if you can endure the annoying cast. It has zero value as a "serious" monster movie. It is unscary and ridiculous at every turn. The DVD has a trailer, but no other extras, but it is extremely annoying in that it features a long set of previews that you cannot skip at the beginning of the film. As real entertainment this film scores nil, as a film to mock it is off the chart, so I was tempted to average it out and give it three stars, but the previews and irritating cast took it down to two.
- Posted on 2009-03-10
The 'Y' stands for 'Why did I watch this?'
Is there some kind of curse that prevents there from ever being a good Yeti-themed horror film? If there isn't, this film doesn't help debunk the theory.
The premise is pretty simple: Take Alive, combine it with Friday the 13th crossed with Harry and the Hendersons, and Presto! Instant Yeti horror film. If only they had invested a screenplay, lighting budget, and semi-decent special effects in that premise, then they might have had a chance.
If you like bad movies, by all means, give it a go. Otherwise, keep waiting. A good Yeti horror film is bound to come by sooner or later.
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